I'm in a weird mood right now. School is completely to blame, maybe.

I may have mentioned it before, but there's this thing, called Works in Progress. It's a sort of portfolio review, where a committee of art professors come in, look at a portfolio of roughly 20 pieces you've compiled, talk to you, then decide whether you pass or not. It's how you get to be a BFA art major as opposed to a BA. You have three chances, and after that, you're stuck with a BA.

I've failed twice so far. Today was the initial meeting for this semesters WIP, meaning I need to really start gearing up for this third and final attempt at slaying this poisonous beast that's been lingering over me in the shadows for a year now. Those first two failures were highly emotional experiences. Lots of crying and screaming, followed by eating comfort food at a local teriyaki place, licking my wounds.

Sitting in that meeting, I could hardly breathe, my guts had tightened, muscles clenched up, and I felt like puking. I was trembling, first out of severe nervousness, then just out of hatred. I've grown to despise a lot of things about being an art student, a lot of the pressures, a lot of the politics and stuff that goes on behind the scenes. All the unnecessary stresses that I really don't need.

I grew even more irate when we were told that they bumped the dates up for WIP further. The end of this month, just before Halloween. I've done very few projects this semester, and was hoping it'd be in November so I'd have more time to put together a decent portfolio, but I only have what, two weeks? Insert a handful of choice expletives here.

I've decided that I'm probably not best suited for a BFA. Not for graphic design and comics work. I don't really want to deal with the added pressures of putting together a gallery showing for my graduation. So the question is, why am I going through this crap a third time?

The simple answer is to give these professors the finger. If I pass, it'll be one of the ultimate successes. If I fail, I'll rant and scream and rave. And then I'll move on.

...I'm trying to be more cool and zen about it this semester than I was. I'm not sure if it'll really work.

I'm getting myself amped up with a lot of punk rock, Queens of the Stone Age, and K.M.F.D.M. Music motivates me more than most things.

I have new stuff I'm working on, including a beer bottle label featuring the loveable mug of my friend and roller derby announcer, Big Daddy Voodoo of Technobohemia. Very sloppy and awesome.

Um, that's it. I've got a Spanish quiz to get studying for. I just had to rant. Thanks for reading, all two or three of you.

[Brett]